I'M NOT OKAY WITH THIS (2020) Netflix Review (MAJOR SPOILERS)

Netflix Original "I'M NOT OKAY WITH THIS" speaks to all suffering wall flowers who feel bullied, abused, and unheard. Sydney is a girl on a search for her own distinction, to know her place in the world. However, the chance is ripped away from her after the death of her father, the only man with whom she could truly relate. So, she embarks on a mission to find love elsewhere. The only three people with whom she feels it is her best friend Dina, her brother Liam, and her neighbor Standley.

With so few friends, how would she handle losing one to a controlling jock who clearly has no love for others. Especially not Sydney's closest friend. Sydney must watch in agonizing silence while Dina transforms into someone she no longer recognizes. Feeling as though she will lose her best friend, she retreats into herself, desperate for someone in whom to confide.

The answer comes in the form of an ugly little notebook. The brightly colored cover portrays a devious foreshadow of terrible events to come. A cat in the guise of a fish feasts on the flesh of its victim after luring it close and betraying its trust. It's a warning of betrayal by a Wolf in Sheep's Clothing. Nothing good can come from this diary.

She learns to confide in that diary completely, because it's easy to confide in paper. Paper doesn't talk back, judge, or laugh. Where no one else understands her feelings, the diary just listens. This is how she learns to express herself more confidently in the real world. Her emotions simmer down and her explosions become more controllable. It's only when she doesn't have access to her diary that she loses control.

On the other hand, when placed in the hands of the enemy, it can be one of the most destructive weapons. There are few things more traumatizing than such an invasion of privacy and trust. At least that is what happened to me.

Like Sydney, I was encouraged to keep a journal by a mental health professional. Members of my own family (the same people who would later betray me) also encouraged the hobby by buying me journals. The blank pages made me feel comfortable expressing my emotions, organizing my thoughts, and finding inspiration. Of course, my enemies saw something else: a convenient method to cut me out of the family and destroy my reputation.

I made the mistake of trusting them and paid dearly for it. My journal was passed around to every relative within a 50 mile radius like candy at a parade. It didn't end there. I was then ambushed and emotionally blackmailed. They attempted to break up my engagement, and drove me to a mental institution to be commited . It was a failed attempt, but the entire experience was traumatizing enough to shatter my trust in every single one of them.

Inside of Sydney lies incredible potential. She has a distinct power that is all her own. It can either be used for good, or it could destroy the entire town. Sydney's abilities empower her in a way that no one else does. It stems from deep within her, the universe's answer to the cry of her heart. In a cruel twist, it makes her feel as alone as ever.Meanwhile, a dark shadow follows her, tempting her to succumb to her rage and insecurities.

Her explosive power is her distinction. It makes her unique and special. It also makes her dangerous. When she loses control of her emotions, she loses control of her power. In order for her to hone her power, she must control her emotions and use her power for good. No one should ever have to feel so alone. Wall flowers want the same thing as anyone else would. Understanding. Support. Unconditional love.

In order to find control, she embarks on a mission to find closure from the suicide of her father. She searches for clues in his belongings and confronts her mother. What she finds is a bridge between her father and herself. He suffers the same turmoil as she does. The same loneliness The same depression. The same power.

She must find a way to express her feelings before they destroy the entire town. What secrets will she unfold? What will her father's past teach her about herself and her potential? Unfortunately, we have to wait for Season 2 for these answers.